Since Jane's arrival in late November, in many ways, I have never felt more personally fulfilled. However, I couldn't help but feel that I struggled daily to keep everything together. My closet was a total disaster. Why? Probably because I have yet to really commit to a post-baby diet leaving me to find an outfit or two I can squeeze into and everything else on the floor. I had stopped cooking meals from scratch, and I found every excuse not to exercise. I felt like I had just given up and had lost control of my health, and honestly, myself.
Until this week, that is... I decided to completely clean up my closet. It sounds like a small step, but it was the first step into getting back on the right track. I started counting my points again, and I will weigh in next Wednesday. Most importantly, I took my first pilates reformer class in more than two years. It was AMAZING!!!!
I first took pilates in Beaufort with one of my best friends and the world's best trainer. It was one hour every other day that I looked forward to from the moment I woke up. This year for Christmas, my parents got me a gift card to Romney Pilates, and I couldn't think of anything better to reset my mind and my body.
Tonight, I went back for my second session at Romney, and I think, no, I know, that this is what I was missing. I needed to find an outlet that allowed me to close my eyes and focus on me. I know that sounds ridiculously selfish, but I think I have tried to focus on everything but me assuming that's what good parents do. But, somewhere in there, I lost myself. And in two brief, but very important, hours, I found my center. And I found my motivation to get back to normal. And it feels really, really good.