Dear Baby A,
As of today, you are entering your thirty-fifth week! I assume now that you have lived in my tummy for this long you know a few things about me like the fact that I really like ice cream, I tend to scream and curse when we are watching the Saints play (sorry about that), I spend too much time watching the Real Housewives of any city, and I am someone who likes certainty and planning and control over my world.
That last part is where you come in. You are teaching me quite a lesson on how I have to let go and let life take its course. Let's take a look at the who, what, where, and when situation you and I are in as an example. We'll go backwards though... Ready...
Baby A, you are set to arrive in our lives on November 16th. The planner and the over programmer in me says that that gives us five weekends left and two Saints home games to attend before your arrival. Ideally, I will spend the next few days filling each and every void of time from now until then with some kind of activity or outing. I like to have a full calendar set with plans for about a month out. The idea of a slow weekend is one where we stay in for lunch on a Saturday. I know this will soon change, but how soon? Should I wait to make plans for the weekends in November? Or should we just keep on keeping on and let you join the party at some point? Oh, the uncertainty of it all makes me feel so anxious!
As we get closer to my due date I have started thinking a lot about where I will be when you make the decision that you'd rather live on land than in my tummy. I have asked myself, while it would make for a cool story, do I want my water to break in Section 631 of the Superdome with two minutes left in the first half and a mile separating me from the car? Eek? Or will it break in my chair at the conference I will be attending at the Windsor Court in late October? That would be very fancy of you. Will I be on a walk in the park when I feel my first real contraction? What if I'm in pain and Mark has to run home to get the car? Where oh where will I be when you are ready to join us here?
I had a dream a week or two ago that you were a little girl. I don't really remember much about it, but I know for sure you were a girl. Until then, I really thought you were a boy. Now, I have absolutely no idea! Everyone else is perfectly convinced that because you sit high and centered in my tummy that you are a boy. We have a closet full of yellow ducky outfits for you when you arrive, and we cannot wait to transition to the pink or the blue soon after that.
The who - Baby A, this is what excites us so much. We cannot wait to meet you and to get to know you. I find it so indescribable to think that soon there will be a new person on this earth with a new vision of how it should look and a new perspective on how to have that vision come to life. Will you be adventurous like Daddy or cautious like me? Will you be an introvert or an extrovert? Will you prefer to take charge and lead or sit back and participate? What will you be passionate about? What foods will you love? What will be your favaorite color? Will you see the world through rose colored glasses? Will you love the excitement of big cities or prefer the slow pace of the country? Will you dance to the beat of your own drum?
The thing is Baby A that we will love you no matter who you are. You can sky dive or you can wait until the second the red hand goes away to cross the street. You can be painfully shy or outrageously outgoing. You can be president of the student body and captain of the basketball team or you can be the member of every club on campus. You can be passionate about the Saints or passionate about Dungeons and Dragons. You can love every food under the sun or just stick to chicken and green peas. You can see the glass half full or half empty. You can love Manhattan like me or camping on the beach like Daddy.
Or, Baby A, you can find all of these categories too narrow and rigid for your own liking and pick up a drum stick and create your own rhythym to life. You can define who you are and what you like and how you want to live your life. Just know that no matter what, we will always be your biggest fans. We will love you no matter where on life's spectrum you fall. You are ours, and you are perfect. And we cannot wait to take this journey with you.
P.S. Mommy can feel your hiccups now. You're already sort of standing on your head, Mommy shouted Boo! to you last night, and you're too little for a spoonful of sugar. I don't know how to cure them for you, so I hope they're not a bother.
We love you to pieces,
Mommy and Daddy
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