Thursday, May 31, 2012

Finding My Center

Since Jane's arrival in late November, in many ways, I have never felt more personally fulfilled.  However, I couldn't help but feel that I struggled daily to keep everything together.  My closet was a total disaster.  Why?  Probably because I have yet to really commit to a post-baby diet leaving me to find an outfit or two I can squeeze into and everything else on the floor.  I had stopped cooking meals from scratch, and I found every excuse not to exercise.  I felt like I had just given up and had lost control of my health, and honestly, myself.  

Until this week, that is...  I decided to completely clean up my closet.  It sounds like a small step, but it was the first step into getting back on the right track.  I started counting my points again, and I will weigh in next Wednesday.  Most importantly, I took my first pilates reformer class in more than two years.  It was AMAZING!!!!

I first took pilates in Beaufort with one of my best friends and the world's best trainer.  It was one hour every other day that I looked forward to from the moment I woke up.  This year for Christmas, my parents got me a gift card to Romney Pilates, and I couldn't think of anything better to reset my mind and my body.  

Tonight, I went back for my second session at Romney, and I think, no, I know, that this is what I was missing.  I needed to find an outlet that allowed me to close my eyes and focus on me.  I know that sounds ridiculously selfish, but I think I have tried to focus on everything but me assuming that's what good parents do.  But, somewhere in there, I lost myself.  And in two brief, but very important, hours, I found my center.  And I found my motivation to get back to normal.  And it feels really, really good. 


4 comments:

  1. You can do it! Don't be too hard on yourself though. I adore WW program and lost my baby weight (twice) with them. Good Luck!

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  2. Finding your center and realizing how important it is to take care of you is one of the greatest overlooked aspects of motherhood. It took me 8 months into my 2nd child's life to get over the "guilt" I felt when I did something for myself that did not revolve around my child. Some how, thru the bliss of becoming a mom (although we all know it is not ALL bliss!), I forgot about taking care of me. It was very hard to reason with myself that I too was just as important as my children. Going to the gym and leaving them in daycare wasn't a sign that I wasn't a good mom, it was a sign that I understand that taking care of myself was just as important as taking care of them. And in doing so, I really came to understand that a happy mom is a good mom. Kudos to you Jennifer for realizing this in 6 short months! And good luck on your journey to finding your balance!

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  3. I really love the honesty of your blog. It is so one of my favorites. You will find a balance in due time...just follow your heart.

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  4. Great post Jen and I think a lot of us moms have been there before. I know I felt so guilty for leaving Elle at home as I went off to zumba when she was first born or simply had to leave the house and go explore target ALONE!!! But, I had to remind myself that by taking care of myself is what will make me a better mom. Do not at all feel guilty as you embark on this journey.
    PS: You should share some of your WW recipes posts here and there.

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